4,000 Meters: much more than a challenge

My life had become work, eat and sleep… As if we live for that alone?

It was all like an organized tailor’s drawer.

So how do you explain this? Whoever’s reading this may wonder… Although I’m also sure that a lot of people who read this will come to understand it without having to explain it.

Everything that happens in our lives is not up to us. There are things that are under our control, but many others get away, and that’s one thing that a lot of people like me can’t understand. The result? Stress. Anxiety. Despair.

And when you’re like that, sometimes you put other things aside… friendships, family, trips… In short, life. And you know it… But you don’t see it.

My name is Laura. I am a restless embryologist who suffers from perfectionism because of the great responsibility that comes with my work. I usually have a certain need to have pretty much everything under control and understand everything around me.

I’m fascinated by my work, but I hate incompetence and negligence. I feel like you can’t ‘play’ with the dreams of the people who come to your hands.

But on the other hand, I’m one of the people who thinks everyone can get a little further… we can all do something to move forward.

All we have to do is 1. believe that it is possible; and 2. know how to do it.

They are certainly not easy tasks… but after my adventure I would try to understand how to meet those two requirements.

I’ve never taken a trip like this before. I’ve always traveled knowing exactly what I was going to do.

I have a phobia of flying, and I always need to know if it’s necessary to do so to go to a destination. This would become a key part of my experience.

After they offered me this experience, I said ‘I want to’ (without thinking, because if I had, I wouldn’t be writing this).

And that was a path of no return. How could I take it back later?

It was an impulsive decision.

Some people greatly encouraged me to do it, and others thought I was crazy.

I knew I “had to do it”.

When something tires, bores, or saddens you, you can’t keep doing the same thing, because you’ll only get the same results. So, I took it as a way to break away from everything you’re aware of. A way to break away from the belief that “you’re incapable of doing it alone.”

I just thought, “If you can’t do it, let someone do it for you.”

It wasn’t an easy process for someone who likes to keep everything under control. Not knowing the destination, what will need to be done at all times, what you will find… That’s a lot of variables you don’t control.

But I also knew it was the way to understand that ‘your own vision is not the only valid one’. And that’s how I took it, like doing something under someone else’s eyes.

I recognize that when the Rover called me to talk about the dates, the excuses began to come to me…

But like I said before, there was no going back.

The decision had been made from the first second. I just accepted it and stored it in a corner of my brain like it wasn’t with me. Up to a few days before.

The protection my brain opted for was to ignore that the day was approaching… I didn’t make or buy anything.

All in all, I had no information.

I went filling out the questionnaires and doing the steps they were asking me to do, but when I went to hit send, my brain would put it on hold.

How did I feel?

There was everything. First, as if it was nothing. Then uncertainty about the proximity of the event… but then I realized that, for a few days, I forgot all my ‘problems’.

And I felt the first release.

I even came to notice more anxiety on the part of others than on my own. It was funny.

For the first time in many years, I was going to literally ‘disconnect’ from absolutely everything other than what I was going to experience.

I think we should all experience that at least once in our lifetime. Because it wasn’t a trip where we’re 100% connected; it was a journey in which absolutely nothing depended on me.

Losing control… without ‘uncontrollability’

But it wasn’t all liberation. I also experienced quite the opposite.

Did I feel like cancelling everything? Every day from the moment of that call when I was told that we should choose dates…

‘Body get sick, ‘let something go wrong at work’… my brain boycotted every second of my life. But in the end, it understood that the decision was made and there were no more options.

4 days before the trip I received instructions about what could not be left out of my luggage. That’s when my peculiar ‘boycotter’ was activated. The same one who had helped me stay calm by putting a hold on reality, now it was ‘invested’ in making me regret this.

This was for me, the worst of all…

I have a phobia of flying. It is greater than my strengths… and the worst thing for me was to know that I was going to travel alone.

I remember it with great anguish… but who wouldn’t every time one remembered confronting to a phobia?

But finally, the plane landed.

I felt a huge relief. I said goodbye to a woman I met on the plane who lent me her arm to squeeze during the turbulence. I remember her saying to me, ‘Just enjoy it, because there are things that only happen once in a lifetime.’ And that’s what I did.

I had overcome my biggest fear, even if it almost happened, but I could only let myself enjoy… so I just let
things flow.

It didn’t matter where I was, or what I was going to do… in that moment I understood that the important thing was what I was going to feel.

And then I met with my Rover.

As it couldn’t have been any other way, I started complaining that I had to travel alone by plane, but I got over it quickly to tell the truth.

I was so glad I successfully went through that moment. First real test surpassed.

And the adventure began.

I never thought I would be able to walk so much in 48 hours… we climbed to one of the highest peaks I had ever faced.

There were times for everything along the way.

I had a lot of time to think about my things, my life, reflect on them. It was like a trip with myself.

But there was much more than calm during the reflection.

Climbing a 4000m mountain, without training! But of course, I didn’t know that beforehand!!! And nothing like not knowing as to not limit yourself!!

I thought of giving up several times, especially in the end.

And I realized that I only thought about that when I saw (visually) the peak, because it seemed to be close and you inadvertently think you’re there, but you’re not.

As much as you advance, you never make it.

But at the same time, you can’t give up, not after all this effort. And you go on and on… you cry, but you keep going. Your fingers hurt… and you keep going!

And the satisfaction of getting there is infinite. Like our capabilities…

There I understood that the body can do almost anything you ask, it was my mind that boycotted me.

Overcoming that was the hardest thing.

But now, every time I think ‘I can’t’, immediately after it’s: ‘are you sure?’ … of course, you can.

It was much more than a challenge. A completely unique combination of emotions.

The excitement of seeing unexpected things, the tiredness along the way, the surprise when arriving at the hostel on the first day, the excitement ofseeing a shooting star during the climb (it was a truly magical moment), frustration of wanting to keep going but that your body doesn’t allow you…

Each of those moments and sensations is lived so intensely that it is engraved forever.

The image of the views from above, are priceless. And not just because of what you see, but because of
what you’ve achieved.

But climbing to the peak of that mountain was just the beginning. The adventure continued.

I had no idea where we were going… but I was very excited.

My fears had become a desire for more. I had gained an understanding a lot of things up to that point.
Next up? Living with a local community.

I was in shock when I got to the village, if you could call it that. A family that spoke neither Spanish nor English, complete strangers who gave me much more than they had.

When I arrived, I didn’t know what to do. I was just paralyzed…

For half of the morning I was quiet, observing. They had practically nothing, but they were happy like that. Obviously, everyone in their own way. And that shocked me a lot.

Gradually they gave me all their confidence. They treated me like a sister and made me feel very comfortable. I never thought I’d forget all my problems and feel so happy.

The family had three girls. Totally different personalities, but one was like me. And that’s when my transformation began.

To see myself reflected in that girl, to see that at her young age she had more experience than any adult could have and above all understand that you don’t need a language to communicate with anyone, just the desire to do it.

You have to live that experience to understand it.

But it leads you to connect with reality so different, yet at the same time so close… you can be happy with nothing and be miserable with everything. It all depends on how it’s managed.

To tell you more about what happened there, would be to ruin the experience if, you who is reading this, wants to do it.

I can only assure you that I left almost with tears in my eyes when I said goodbye to the family.

I’d love to see them again.

You learn that no matter how badly life treats you, there’s always something worth staying and fighting
for…

There was only the final stretch left of this journey.

Even if it’s hard to believe, I came to this part partially transformed. What at first was ‘let this go by quick’, as the days went by, I just wanted time to stop.

I was prepared to live almost anything. And that was thanks to what I had lived in that place that would leave such a mark on me.

I stopped complaining, wanting to control everything… I just wanted to make the most of the days.

And when I first saw that ‘tent’ in the middle of the desert, my thoughts were very positive. Even if I was going to be alone and isolated, I knew that after all I’ve been through, I could only bring nice things.

Away from noise, pollution… without distractions. Just the sky and me. I’m a star lover, what more could I ask for?

Everything was too nice to have any doubts… when would I have the opportunity again to be in a ‘paradise’, without interruptions, stress, worries…?

Possibly a long time… so I had to take advantage of it.

So much so that I didn’t really want it to end.

That meant the end of the adventure (and the plane back), and I didn’t want it to end. But the feeling I was living at the time was so nice, I just wanted to conquer the world.

It sounds idyllic, but it’s reality. I may not have understood it before I lived it, but I can assure you it was one of the most beautiful, complete and revealing experiences of my life.

And all that wouldn’t have been possible without the Rover.

Many times, I keep him in mind. I remember a lot about our experience. I remember his advice, everything he’s been through, and how he made me see another way to deal with everything that blocked me.

Nothing would have been possible without him. We all have the tools to improve ourselves, but it’s easier when they make you see it so graphically…

And back to reality and day to day.

I came back excited… I felt like continuing with the cloud that enveloped me that week. And you can, of course you can.

Everything around me was still the same. But something important was not like before…

What?

Nothing, but all at once.

None of my life or environment had changed. But when you change, everything changes, and that was obvious. When you change the way you see things, nothing is like before.

And of course, you slack and there are days that you can’t stand or you’re afraid, or you can’t handle something, but the frequency is much lower and the way to solve it is much better.

Something’s inside forever…

As a phrase that I love says, and that was recorded on fire in my mind during the experience was ‘the day I realized that I will only take what I have lived, I began to live what I wanted to take’… that’s all.

Life is very relative. That it is true that one day the journey we live in is over and although we are not aware, it is so. We need to learn to relativize and above all give just and measured importance to the things that happen to us. It doesn’t mean not giving it any importance, but giving the one you deserve…

I’ve learned to better control my impulses, to value other people more, their time (it’s the best gift
someone can give us), and what I live.

I have learned to relativize time, and above all to enjoy what I do and what I have (not necessarily material).

I have managed to control more my bad temper, my bad mood and to give less importance to those things that I cannot control, now I accept them and measure my energies to channel them into what is really worthwhile and I am able to change or improve.

A silly and perhaps un important example: for many years I wanted to lose a certain weight, I had not achieved it in years, and I always told myself ‘I can’t, it’s not possible’…

Now that I’ve decided to use those two words on really ‘impossible’ things, I’ve achieved my goal.

Obviously, it requires effort and sacrifice, but of course I can…Of course, you can…

When you’ve had a chance to ‘see’ things from a distance, everything changes. Sometimes we’re so into work that we’re unable to see beyond, we just got carried away, …

I think one of the most important things I’ve taken has been the ability to get away to see the forest, as the phrase says.

I value the people I love more; I respect more the time and what I live, and above all, that now the solutions come to me more fluidly.

With my basses and with my problems, of course, I’m the same, but different.

And I know that boundaries are just my invention. Yes, you can. And you can too… dare you check it out?

Thank you, Jonas, always.